*will be a damn long post*

i'm here to update abit about what have happened this few days on what i've done . :)

i've a break a promise from me to you . :S

as what i don't wish to be like that . :X

i drink , i drunk & have unwanted behaivour .

& i smoked , for some reason . :(

i've break down le .

i cried while i laugh when i was about to drunk .

this what i always wanted to behaviour whenever i'm drunk when i was down .

how i wish i can leave all problems aside , how i wish i was just a baby that don't need to grow up .

adult life are so complicated !!

i need to grow up , i wish i don't need to grow up in my thinking as i prefer being myself but i can't as i married now & have one 7mths+ big deh son .

i cried every night for nowadays , something i don't want .

i want to live happily with my hubby & my baby boy .

but why i can't ?

why i can't forget those memories you & e bitch have ?!

simply i'm tired of all deh problems .

how i wish i can commit suicide & just leave deh world .

but i do , i just being more useless only .

idk how to face a life that is so stressful & everythings was changing day by day which i don't want & wish to happened .

something is so tiring .. tired till i've no feeling about it .

back to topic ..

to panphila , ya they need to face this problem they really face it . but perhaps i need to face it than i avoid it . :) but i'll be strong again . don't worries . =)

to sillybaby , i remove it is just something i very tired to talk about it . so i just delete it . =) i'll delete away later . is better i delete so that i won't be saying by i copying her . x( i'll change someday . someday you seen me in a very differently . =) i use one year is to change my everything not bcos of finding a job . so now you know le . =)

to celestine , yes i wanted a new life now . a brand new of me ! a girl that you don't know . =) how you know i didn't lehs ? you got everyday see me ? yes , he scolded you . so i now i helping him by saying : "SORRY" to you . =) i know i pai seh you but i didn't betray you anything about it . btw you know it hurts where by a "friend" call you as "PLK" where she very sensitive & will damn sad & hurt ? i didn't sms you nor find you is bcos i want to prove you than by saying "i'll change" . cos i don't feel is a reason why i need to do it . =) i know e logic . past i just behaving "lame , childish , a "wood" & not being understanding person" . i've seen it through already . abit of "gong lau" that quite a number of friends courage me & saying those reasonable stuffs to me . till now i didn't forget whatever you all courage & said me . =)

to ahgirl , i prefering to all . =) i didn't treat them as a atm although everytime meet them i ask them for money . =( but seriously i didn't ! i'll feel guity after i ask them for money ! i listen to chinese songs that something how i feels . not what as you said "copy her" . as if i copy her by using music box than why not you say others than me ? so many people are using that too . =) yes , i spend his money but i didn't say i won't return him & won't repay him after he helping me so much . but wait ! is something good to repay him not by using body contact ! i explain cos i don't misunderstanding . =) laughs* what a joke ? i miss those memories NOT spending her money okays ! i also won't feel good where by she that time work & finding people to lend me money .

to spammer , i may have "copy" somethings from her blog . but i did some edits . =) watch out ? using a "threaten" word to say inside my blog ? what a joke . *laughs* btw i will return & also not your problem too . =)

now i updating for my son's stuffs . =D

he really grow up fast .

he getting more & more cute & chubby le ! =D

& more naughty . :X

miss those times you just born . simply so cute & mummy are just being clumsy by cleaning you & feeding you . x(

baby , mummy is here to say : "i love you & will be beside you always " . =)

*not count i go out those time i'm outside*

now i & my hubby not in e good terms , so don't bothering to ask me about my hubby stuffs & i don't wish to know anything about him & e bitch stuffs . =) tired to know everything about him .

& don't need to say about raymond stuffs as i & him just a normal friend ! i & him forever won't be tgt . as first , i've no position to be with him . second , somehow i feel he not e type i like . third , if i divorce i rather being alone than having a relationship . =)

that's all for today yeah . & i still haven't eat yet . :/

& i feels good after saying so much . =)

feel my heart is lighter abit . =D